NeNe Leakes Is Mama But What If All of Chicago Were Real Housewives Stars?
October 26th, 2015
by Josh Ferri
The Real Housewives of Atlanta grande dame NeNe Leakes returns to Broadway on November 23 as Matron Mama Morton in the record-breaking revival of Chicago, and our excitement level is off the charts! But just imagine what the world would be like if Chicago was taken over by all Real Housewives stars. Below, we share our dreamcast of The Real Housewives of Cook County Jail.
Roxie Hart: Brandi Glanville (RHOBH)
This bad-ass blonde from Beverly Hills knows how to make the best of a bad situation and how to stir up a little trouble in the process. She’s doe-eyed but dangerous, just like Roxie Hart.
Velma Kelly: Countess LuAnn De Lesseps (RHONY)
Darling, there’s no one better fit to play the Vaudeville star turned murderess than Bravo’s own Countess LuAnn. Money can’t buy you class but it can buy you Billy Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Mauricio Umansky (RHOBH)
Which brings us to Kyle Richard’s husband, Mauricio. He’s suave as hell, he looks great in a suit and he wouldn’t put up with any of these killer ladies’ bull.
Amos Hart: Bobby Zarin (RHONY)
Sweet Bobby Zarin as Mr. Cellophane! White gloves provided by Zarin Fabrics.
Mary Sunshine: Miss Lawrence (RHOA)
Honey, I live for the idea of Miss Lawrence delivering all of Mary Sunshine’s lines decked in fur and jewels.
Go-To-Hell-Kitty: Lisa Vanderpump (RHOBH)
The queen of Beverly Hills society could easily play a woman whose father owns all the pineapples in Hawaii. Think of that posh accent shouting “go to hell” over and over while working the hair like she’s back in one of her 1980s music videos.
Fred Casely: Apollo Nida (RHOA)
He’s hot enough to cheat on your husband with but dumb enough to get himself killed in the process.
Liz (Pop that gum one more time): Bethenny Frankel (RHONY)
When have you known the Skinny Girl diva to ever just “fire a warning shot”? #RightKellyBensimon
Annie (Six wives): Vicki Gunvalson (RHOC)
When you do Vicki dirty, she gets back big time.
June (He ran into my knife 10 times!): Teresa Giudice (RHONJ)
Just imagine Teresa Giudice screaming “he ran into my knife 10 times” the way she screamed “prostitution whore! Engaged 19 times!”
Hunyak (The Hungarian) : Kim Richards (RHOBH)
Hilarity ensues as Kim Richards speaks in nothing but Hungarian except to mutter the occasional “not guilty”. This demanding role takes the professional chops only an Escape to Witch Mountain star can offer.
Mona (Artistic differences): Kandi Burruss (RHOA)
Kandi has the star quality to sell the final monologue in this star-studded “Cell Block Tango”. A Mother’s Love was just the beginning for this Grammy-winning star.
Nene Leakes begins her four-week run in ‘Chicago’ on November 23 at Broadway’s Ambassador Theatre.